But, when that inner voice is a persistent critic, always telling you that you are going to fail, then you will have a challenging time achieving your dreams.

Shutting down that inner critic, the one that is always second guessing you or reminding you of your flaws, is a dominant player in your personal fulfillment and success. And learning how to shut down that negative voice can help you gain confidence and finally achieve your goals.

How to Get Your Inner Critic to Shut The %@&# Up

1. Start by Listening to the Voice

The best way to get rid of your inner critic is to start by listening. You may not even be aware of how often your inner critic is chiming in. Pay attention to what you are thinking and saying to yourself throughout your day. Getting a handle on what your voice is saying is the first step to silencing it.

2. Talk to Yourself Like You Would a Friend.

When you hear that inner monologue start to chime in, try changing your words to those you would use with any personal friend having a problem. You wouldn’t start by telling them they are stupid or berating their efforts, would you? No! You’d be compassionate and encouraging, treating them with kindness. How about applying that same treatment to yourself? If they deserve it, why don’t you?

3. Look at the Evidence.

When you start to hear your inner critic tell you what you can’t do, ask yourself, how do you know? What evidence do you have to support that negative assessment? What evidence can you offer to refute those negative claims? Instead of exaggerating your abilities (or lack thereof) to succeed, look to all the ways you have been successful in the past to give you the confidence you need.

4. Don’t Live in the Past.

You need to let go of past mistakes. When you mess up, accept that it happened, then move on. Reminding yourself repeatedly of how and when you screwed up isn’t helping you solve the problem or make better choices moving forward. Focus on active solutions instead of wasting time with “what ifs.”

5. Consider the Worst-Case Scenario.

Your inner critic is probably really good at turning a possible negative outcome into a potential catastrophe. This causes you to feel more anxious than is necessary, leading to doubt and feelings of worthlessness.  Stop and consider, what if that worst-case scenario actually did occur? Would it really be all that bad? In most cases, not really.  And if the worst does happen, how could you prepare ahead of time to address that situation? Being prepared makes you worry less and feel more confident to handle any situation.  That inner critic can often have the loudest voice in the room, but don’t be afraid to keep pressing the mute button on him or her. It’s okay to accept that you are not perfect and still have some work to do in certain areas without thinking the absolute worst about yourself at all times.

You can be kinder and gentler to yourself while still focusing on ways to improve specific aspects of your life that don’t bring you joy. It’s not an either-or scenario. And silencing your inner critic will give you the freedom and space to explore those possibilities.

The post 5 Ways to Get Your Inner Critic to Shut The %@&# Up appeared first on Insight Behavioral Health, LLC.

A person with a victim mentality, may often include blame others, engage in self-pity,   and feel overly fearful, pessimistic, or angry. Perceiving oneself as a victim, can make one feel constantly unhappy and dissatisfied yet unwilling to accept responsibility for the events of their life. Sign of a victim mentality can show up in the following ways

1. Avoiding Active Participation In Your Life
Most people who have a victim mentality have a passive, rather than active, attitude towards their life and the world. When life presents circumstances or events that are beyond their control or not to their liking, those who play the victim will simply resort to complaining and blaming rather than actively trying to change or improve their situation. Life is something that happens TO victims instead of something that they actively pursue. 

2. Harming Others and Hurting Relationships
When you live as a victim, you have to blame someone else for your mistakes or misfortunes. That means others in your life will often bear the brunt of this behavior. While some victims choose to believe it is simply their “fate” in life to have bad luck or to be treated poorly, many will find reasons why it is the responsibility of others around them that they are not happy. This can cause irreparable damage to relationships as you harm others’ feelings toward you. 

3. Refusing to Develop Resiliency
Victims don’t need to solve problems or bounce back from adversity because they simply wallow in their own misery. Most with this mindset find it difficult, if not impossible, to rebound after setbacks or failures, which means they never develop the problem-solving skills or mental outlook necessary for becoming a resilient person. 

4. Living a Selfish or Angry Life
Those with a victim mentality do not accept personal responsibility for their actions or mistakes. They didn’t do something wrong, it was someone else, or it was life’s way of getting “back” at them. Sound familiar? This can leave others to clean up their messes, deal with the fallout of their blunders, or to heal their own wounds from a “victim’s” actions. 

5. Developing Other Bad Habits or Attitudes
Many people who live as a victim can exhibit passive-aggressive behavior, they can be reticent yet overly angry people, and many are delusional and selfish. None of these are personality traits we should be eager to cultivate, so learning to change your mindset away from a victim mentality and more toward one of personal responsibility is paramount to a healthy life. 

Change Your Mindset

If you find yourself refusing to accept responsibility in life, if you often blame others or your own “bad luck” for the things that happen in your life, or if you are constantly battling your own feelings of helplessness, it’s time to change your mindset. Placing more emphasis on the needs of others, rather than solely on yourself, is an excellent place to start. You can also become more aware of and stop focusing so much on feelings of entitlement. The world doesn’t owe you anything, and it’s time you started to realize this.

Becoming an active creator of your life, rather than a victim, is key to living a happy, healthy existence. Stop playing the victim and start becoming the master of your own happiness and welfare. Take responsibility and start living your life today. 

The post Do You Have A Victim Mentality? appeared first on Insight Behavioral Health, LLC.

You may find yourself quietly or noisily dwelling in the abyss of negativity. Whether in the realm of love, happiness or success, your view of your ability to effectively deliver in these facets of your life might lean towards the negative side of things if you believe that your role in any of these areas is futile.

When we believe we are incapable of succeeding in some part or all facets of living our lives, it can have adverse effects such as:

1. Low Expectations of Yourself Others

Thinking you are incapable often leads you to expect very little of yourself and others. You always believe that others are making negative assumptions about you and your abilities.

These expectations of others may cause you to limit yourself in significant ways that are detrimental to yourself or a project. It can even cause you to avoid the people you fear suspect may not expect you to succeed or be good at anything.

2. Negative Thinking

A negative thinking is a common symptom of thinking you are incapable. You have a belief that the possibility of anything good happening to you is highly unlikely. For example, you might convince yourself that finding love, increasing your income or finding happiness is highly unlikely. Your thoughts are often emotionally-driven and may even center around if-based scenario (e.g. “If only…I would if….)

3. Vocal Inner Critic

Your inner critic is quite vocal and can weigh you down. He/she is crucifying and leads you to blame yourself for everything that goes wrong in your life (e.g., “It’s my fault we broke up,” “It’s my fault we don’t have any money”).

Interestingly enough, your inner critic is not discriminating to just you. He/she may also label others as being incapable of doing anything right, leaving you to believe that no matter how bad you are at doing things, you still do it better than anyone else.

How to Combat these Negative Thoughts

To combat these negative, destructive thinking patterns, you have first to accept that there is a problem. If you do nothing to change, these thoughts will continue to plague you and limit your ability to function.

Getting past the sense that you are incapable requires you to pursue self-understanding and self-compassion, according to Lisa Firestone, Ph.D. You must learn to not reside in the city of self-doubt and look for ways to become someone who is open to loving and accepting yourself.

Next, you will also have to find a way to silence that inner critic. This particular piece of advice may not be achievable without the help of a professional such as a therapist. The inner critic does wonders to keep us grounded at times, but if we allow him/her to rule us, they can cause us to act out in destructive ways that might prove harmful to ourselves and others emotionally and in some instances, physically.

Recognize the voice of your inner critic when he/she does rear their ugly head. You know the signs of them being in the wings. “You will never get that job.” “You will never finish your degree.” “You will never pay off your debt; everyone has debt. Why should you be any different?”

You will need to practice shutting that voice down. It may require you to establish a balanced support system in addition to any professional help you may have at your disposal.

Your friends and family can help to pull you through difficult and challenging times and may even help you to recognize when you are “spinning” out of control.

The post If You Believe You Can’t Achieve, You’re Right appeared first on Insight Behavioral Health, LLC.

1. Relationship Conflict or Lost Relationships

Whether in a familial, friend, or romantic sense, having chronic negativity can negatively affect your relationships with others. People don’t like to be around those who always seem to be negative; they tend to be a drag on the mood.  Chronic negativity can also cause you to be angry or cranky, making it hard for others to want to be around you. It can make you behave poorly, be inconsiderate of others’ feelings, and just make it difficult for others to enjoy themselves around you and time with you.  This can put a strain on your relationships and even lead to them dissipating altogether.

2. Prohibiting You from Going Further in Your Career

Your chronic negativity can actually keep you from furthering your career. It can make you an unappealing candidate for promotion, causing you to stay where you are. It could even lead to a demotion if it causes you to behave poorly enough.  Chronic negativity can also hurt your productivity and ability to be a team player in the workplace. It can cause you to work slower, be negative towards others in the office, and not willing to help others.

3. Depression

It’s pretty obvious that chronic negativity can lead to depression. When you view everything in a negative light, it’s easy to stay down and negative. The other consequences of chronic negativity can also contribute to this feeling of depression.  If you find yourself feeling depressed and realize that you suffer from chronic negativity, you may need to seek out help or guidance from loved ones and/or professionals. There is no shame in asking for help when you need it. Depression is hard to overcome on your own, as is chronic negativity.

4. Decreased Energy

Chronic negativity drains your energy. The longer you’re filled with negativity, the more tired you will feel and the more drained you will feel. The less productive you’ll be and the less pleasant you’ll be to be around.  Decreased energy can then affect your relationships, your career, and, as a result, your happiness. It can cause you to be too tired to be present, decrease your productivity, and make you feel sad that you missed out on important things.

5. Refusing to Try New Things or Seize New Opportunities

Chronic negativity leads to an overall pessimistic and doubtful outlook. This makes you less open to new ideas and new opportunities which can not only stunt your growth and development but also keep you from expanding your success and widening your horizons.  When you’re overly negative, you tend to also be negative and pessimistic about new opportunities. Rather than seize them and act upon them, you’d rather remain skeptical and safe, staying where you are. You psych yourself to either think it’s a joke or gag offer or maybe just think that you’re incapable of handling it.  Not seizing new opportunities can keep you from reaching points you wanted to in life and achieving goals you set for yourself.  Chronic negativity can be cancerous to yourself and your life. It can lead to depression, missed opportunities, regrets, lost or damaged relationships, and even cause you to experience decreased energy. Chronic negativity poisons everything you do in your life as it all is drenched thickly in the negativity you exude.

Chronic negativity affects everything you do and thus can have some pretty serious consequences. We hope this article has helped inspire you to make a change in your life and try to get rid of all your negativity. At least let it serve as a warning to you.

The post 5 Ways Negative Thinking Can Hurt You appeared first on Insight Behavioral Health, LLC.