We are often our own worst critics. We are quick to forgive the transgressions of others but much less forgiving when it comes to ourselves. Learning to have self-compassion can be a powerful tool in achieving our goals and improving our overall well-being. Here are six steps to get you started on the path to self-compassion.
1. Acknowledge your feelings The first step is to allow yourself to feel whatever it is you are feeling without judgment. Acknowledge your pain, sorrow, frustration, or anger without trying to push those feelings away. Accepting our emotions is an important step in managing them effectively.
2. Understand that you are not alone It can be easy to feel like we are the only ones struggling but the truth is that everyone goes through difficult times. Remind yourself that you are not alone in your experience and that others have felt the same way at some point in their lives.
3. Be kind to yourself We would never dream of speaking to others the way we sometimes speak to ourselves. Why not extend the same courtesy to yourself that you would show others? Be gentle and understanding with yourself as you work through your challenges. Try not to focus on everything that you did wrong or could have done better – instead, focus on what you did well and what progress you have made.
4. Forgive yourself Part of being compassionate towards ourselves is learning to forgive ourselves for our mistakes and shortcomings. Accepting that we are imperfect beings capable of making mistakes is an important step in cultivating self-compassion. Everyone makes mistakes – what counts is how we learn from them and move forward.
5. Offer yourself support In times of need, we often turn towards our friends and family for support but we sometimes forget that we can be our own best friend too! When you’re feeling low, give yourself a hug (literally!), make yourself a healthy meal, or take yourself out for coffee – do something special for yourself that will make you feel cared for and loved.
6. Soothe yourself One of the best ways to increase our own self-compassion is by supporting ourselves through self soothing behaviors. Take care of yourself by finding ways to relax and unwind, with self-care activities that can help to soothe the mind and body. Taking a warm bath, reading a good book, or taking a nature walk are all great ways to ease tension and promote relaxation. In addition, spending time with loved ones, listening to calming music, or practicing yoga can also help to reduce stress levels. So next time instead of being self-critical or judgmental take some time out for yourself and try one of these calming activities. You deserve it!
Learning to comfort yourself, nurture and care for your body and mind, and express your appreciation toward yourself will allow you to have a healthy, loving relationship with yourself.