If you are constantly blaming others or life’s circumstances for your troubles and difficulties, then you may have a victim mentality. A victim mentality refers to a mindset in which a person consistently feels mistreated, often to avoid personal responsibility or to gain attention from others. People with this habit of thinking usually believe that life is beyond their personal control and often feel that others, and even life in general, are “out to get them.”
A person with a victim mentality, may often include blame others, engage in self-pity, and feel overly fearful, pessimistic, or angry. Perceiving oneself as a victim, can make one feel constantly unhappy and dissatisfied yet unwilling to accept responsibility for the events of their life. Sign of a victim mentality can show up in the following ways
1. Avoiding Active Participation In Your Life
Most people who have a victim mentality have a passive, rather than active, attitude towards their life and the world. When life presents circumstances or events that are beyond their control or not to their liking, those who play the victim will simply resort to complaining and blaming rather than actively trying to change or improve their situation. Life is something that happens TO victims instead of something that they actively pursue.
2. Harming Others and Hurting Relationships
When you live as a victim, you have to blame someone else for your mistakes or misfortunes. That means others in your life will often bear the brunt of this behavior. While some victims choose to believe it is simply their “fate” in life to have bad luck or to be treated poorly, many will find reasons why it is the responsibility of others around them that they are not happy. This can cause irreparable damage to relationships as you harm others’ feelings toward you.
3. Refusing to Develop Resiliency
Victims don’t need to solve problems or bounce back from adversity because they simply wallow in their own misery. Most with this mindset find it difficult, if not impossible, to rebound after setbacks or failures, which means they never develop the problem-solving skills or mental outlook necessary for becoming a resilient person.
4. Living a Selfish or Angry Life
Those with a victim mentality do not accept personal responsibility for their actions or mistakes. They didn’t do something wrong, it was someone else, or it was life’s way of getting “back” at them. Sound familiar? This can leave others to clean up their messes, deal with the fallout of their blunders, or to heal their own wounds from a “victim’s” actions.
5. Developing Other Bad Habits or Attitudes
Many people who live as a victim can exhibit passive-aggressive behavior, they can be reticent yet overly angry people, and many are delusional and selfish. None of these are personality traits we should be eager to cultivate, so learning to change your mindset away from a victim mentality and more toward one of personal responsibility is paramount to a healthy life.
Change Your Mindset
If you find yourself refusing to accept responsibility in life, if you often blame others or your own “bad luck” for the things that happen in your life, or if you are constantly battling your own feelings of helplessness, it’s time to change your mindset. Placing more emphasis on the needs of others, rather than solely on yourself, is an excellent place to start. You can also become more aware of and stop focusing so much on feelings of entitlement. The world doesn’t owe you anything, and it’s time you started to realize this.
Becoming an active creator of your life, rather than a victim, is key to living a happy, healthy existence. Stop playing the victim and start becoming the master of your own happiness and welfare. Take responsibility and start living your life today.